THE BIKER

🎶tune of “The Gambler” with apologies to Kenny Rogers🎶

On a hot summer’s morning, on a road bound for nowhere,

I met up with a stranger, I passed him once or twice;

He peered through his glasses, and said without expression,

“For a taste of your water, I’ll give you some advice.”

So I handed him the bottle; he drank down my last swallow,

Payin’ no attention to the bikers’ honor code;

The day got deathly hot, but it didn’t seem to matter;

”Son, you haven’t lived ‘til Monte Sano you have rode.”

(chorus)

You’ve got to know when to crank ‘em,

Know when to yank ‘em,

Know when you’ve lost a lap,

Know when you’ve won;

You never count your ribbons,

While you’re headed for the finish;

There’ll be time enough for countin’,

When the bell lap’s done.

“Every biker knows, the secret to survivin’,

Is knowing how much pasta, you should try to eat;

‘Cause every ride’s a winner, and every ride’s a loser;

The best you can hope for is to die in your cleats.”

When he finished speakin’, he turned his eyes to pavement,

Wheeled up Monte Sano, in the midday heat;

Somewhere on that mountain, the Biker he broke even,

And in his final sprint, I found a chainring I could keep.

(chorus)

by Team Redneck circa 1999

*photo: “The Padrone is dead to me!”